It is that time again.  The time when I go through each day, hour by hour of what happened to us nine years ago.  I was just thinking "This is when Mark told me "I am ready to go, Mom"....and seconds later my phone rang.  Mandy Strout.  I can be assured of a phone call from her at least twice a year.....at this time and also on Mark's birthday.  

 This year it is even more in focus because of the death of Matt Watkins.  Matt's brother, Tim, was and remains a significant person in Mark's life.  We knew Matt had been struggling with cancer and I was reminded how involved and important Tim was in Mark's journey.  On two separate occasions I personally contacted Tim to inform him of what was transpiring with Mark.  The first time I went to Golf Discount.  Mark had been told the night before that he had desmoplastic small round cell sarcoma and the chances of survival were minimum.  Mark insisted on going to work because he was needed because Tim was planning on attending a spelling bee Allison was participating in.  It was very important to Mark to be there for Tim.  I can still see the shock on Tim's face and barely got all the information out when Mark walked into the store.

The next time I went into talk to Tim was January 2007.  This time I had emailed Tim first and he pretty well knew that it wasn't going to be good news.  I wanted Mark to go into the hospital and after talking with Tim, Mark agreed to go.

It is interesting that Matt's funeral will be on the same date as Mark's funeral Mass.  I hope that Tim''s experience with Mark helped him through the past couple of weeks.  I know that Mark was there to meet Matt...he would do anything he could to help Tim...even years after he left us.

Tim's other brother, Dan, helped Tim and Golf Discount with the golf tournament they had for Mark's benefit.  A lasting, precious thing continues to survive that day....Dan made a video and on that video is Mark talking.  I cannot even guess how many times I have played that video so that I can hear my son speak.

I so appreciate people telling me that they remember.  I wasn't even out of bed an hour and I was at the pool and the first thing said to me was by Gwen Houska..."I know what today and tomorrow is".  Meant so very much.  The comments from Facebook, the phone calls...all help Don and me fill the void that this day brings.

I told Mandy tonight that at 8am in the morning...all will be better.

During that last night, after Coach Heyde left about midnight and everyone that was here fell asleep......I sat all night holding my boy's hand and watching him breathe.  At one point Katie was at Mark's bedside.  From time to time someone else would wake up and sit with Mark and me for awhile.  Scott Pope was there.  Frankie was there. John spent the entire evening and late into the night with Tabby and then came by early in the morning before he went to work.  Mary LeGrand came about an hour before Mark passed away.  She, my mom, Jeff,  Don and myself were with Mark when he left.  After that....peace.

We are doing ok.  If you see us, even after the magic hours have gone again for another year, please let us know you remember.  We have never forgotten who helped us through those months, who were there in the days that followed....and who continues to be there to this day.

The memories are never far from our minds.....and as painful as it remains.....we love those that remember as well.

Godspeed to Matt Watkins and many thoughts and our love to his family as well.